I’m taking a gap year. Last month I made a pretty radical decision, I turned down a good job. Unfortunately the good job didn’t look very good on paper in the end. The contract was limiting and frankly a bit scary and the benefits were unfair due to the fact I am already a resident here. In the end I felt that they were getting an amazing deal and me a sandwich from the bargain corner of the supermarket, it looks ok on the outside but look a little deeper and you realise it’s soggy. I am worth more than that feeling you get from a soggy yellow sticker sandwich, so I turned it down.
And I can tell you it felt pretty liberating. Just for a moment, the feeling of shit what did you do, you turned down a job crept over me, But a feeling of freedom followed, one like I’ve never felt before. Think the feeling you get when you break up for your holidays x10. Right now I am totally in charge of my own destiny and that is empowering.
I have done more since turning down the job, than I have done since I’ve lived here. I’ve taken myself on the bus for the first time, with no real idea if it was the right one or where to actually get off, or how to pay, but it was fine, I survived and I’m hooked – it’s so cheap! I have cooked, read, yoga’d, swam, worked out, watched films, written and even made some jewellery. Made lists of all the things we need to do in Malaysia and in fact S.E.A, booking Cambodia and planning out trips to Japan and Thailand. I am even having a go at training for climbing mount Kinabalu, climbing stairs and sweating it out in parks.
In order to structure my structure less week I am making a weekly bullet journal (see above), another thing learnt on Instagram! It’s a nice way of organising your week so you make the most of it. By prioritising the things I want to do and documenting it I am actually doing them, not just thinking, ‘I can do that tomorrow’ and then never doing it, plus I have a terrible memory. You’d think it would be laborious, but I do it first thing on a Monday morning and it takes about 30 min’s. I need to up my originality though, my last two weeks look very similar.
So I am taking this gap year in my thirties and I think it might just be the making of me. I think it might clear out the bullshit we tell ourselves and get rid of the ‘should’ in my life. Making a decision to reject a good job has somehow made me feel like I am worth this time, I can do this and I am so freaking lucky to be able to.
Things I’ve learnt…
- Saying no can be an amazing thing
- Sometimes principals have to be more important than money
- We all need a little structure, but it doesn’t have to be conventional
- We’re going to have to tighten our belts!
- A gap year is possible at any age
Other thoughts on life can be found here Life